


Only Almost

by orphan_account



Category: My Engineer (TV)
Genre: Angst, Betrayal, Family, Gen, Infidelity, M/M, anger issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-18
Updated: 2020-05-18
Packaged: 2021-03-03 03:00:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,286
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24247693
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: The situation with Ram's father gets worse, so much worse.
Relationships: King/Ram (My Engineer), Ram & His Family
Comments: 8
Kudos: 201





	Only Almost

Ram could kill. He feels the anger fill him up so completely he doesn’t know anything else. The voice on the other end is panicking, afraid, and held with such urgency that Ram almost feels concerned. Almost. But this isn’t just anyone on the other end of the line, it’s her, it’s his friend and neighbor, or so she was supposed to be. Now look at them. Fucking his father behind his back, fucking up his family, and fucking up their friendship.

He still remembers the bullies, the blood, and bruises. Her kind words and hands quick to bandage him up before his parents saw. Movies at her house, slushies in hand, and laughter. A distraction until he had to go home and explain what happened. He loves her as though she were a sister, but now, he hates her as though she were the embodiment of all evil. It sounds dramatic, but this anger is like hellfire.

“Cool boy?” King is calling to him from his side of the couch, eyes concerned as the movie they were watching stays paused in the background.

“ _Ram, please come home. Your- Your brother is crying. I’m sorry, but your mom found and I- I don’t know what to do._ ” Her voice hitches as a sob seems to start to come, and Ram wants to hate. To yell. To fight. His fists are curled up into hard balls of hate. But there’s a part of him that still retains humanity, even in this frenzied stage of anger, a part of him that here’s the smallness in her voice. The helplessness of getting into a situation far greater than her capacity to handle. Ram gets that. He wishes he didn’t, but he does.

In the end though it’s not her pleading, or his parents fighting in the background, or even King’s soft voice, warm and inviting. No, in the end it’s his brother. His little brother who he promised to look out for no matter. Who he promised would never be hurt or made to feel small like he was. His little brother who he loves the most in all this world. Almost to the point where it feels like he were his own sometimes.

And he hasn’t been home. He hasn’t been there. He’s a shit brother, isn’t he?

“Ram?” King’s voice grows more concerned.

“ _Please._ ” Pin pleads.

“I’ll be there soon.”

He hangs up the phone and turns to King’s curious gaze. “I’m sorry.” He tells him, and he means it.

And King, like always, understands. His eyes show a little disappointment, and a little hurt but it’s replaced by an understanding smile. “You have to go home.”

Ram nods his head, their eyes locked onto each other’s in a tense moment. Ram wants to reach out, to stroke his fingers along King’s cheek, to feel the soft skin there. To run his fingers through the silk dark hair. He wants to press his lips gentle to King’s. To feel him. But he has to go. He doesn’t have time for anything more. Even the words that get jumbled inside, he can’t wait for those either. All he can offer is an apologetic smile to King before he’s turning to the other room to gather his bag, and then his three dogs. He makes sure not forget Venus.

-

“Ram.” Pin says it softy, gratefully, but Ram spares her no glance. He moves past her into his home where the screaming match is going on. He hears the tears, the anger, and the pain. It burns through him as he realizes that everything he’s ever known is gone. Destroyed. In its wake is a storm of destruction, houses and buildings demolished in the anger, pain, and betrayal.

His father is desperately reaching out to his mom, hands on her arms, eyes pleading, and his mom is trying to push him away. She has tears in her own eyes. Her words screaming for him to leave, screaming in questions of ‘why’? ‘Why’? ‘Why?’ “Why wasn’t I good enough? How could you do this to us? How are we not good enough?”

He sees them tear chunks out of each other, blame going around like a merry-go-round, and in all the chaos is his younger brother. Ruj. He sits on the couch, arms wrapped around himself, sobs tearing out, and eyes red with pain. With anger. He was always sensitive. Feeling things that Ram had learned not to. He feels everything. He feels this. He’s broken. Ram never wanted this for him. Not ever.

He feels his own tears come then, the guilt, the pain, and the truth of it all that he couldn’t keep his promise. Not to his brother. His mother. His family. His dogs, they whine down at his feet, but Ram can’t even spare them a look. He feels saddens come, the hurt ripping through him too, but he’s gotten used to dealing with this. He pushes it away like it’s natural and normal, and he lets’ the other more angrier emotions come through. He can burn on those. He can survive with them. If he lets the other blue emotions come through, sadness and grief of loss, he’ll drown it in. He’ll disappear into that ocean. With the anger? He burns. He flies.

“Get away from her!” He pulls his father, putting himself in between them. He has his back to his mother, protecting her, his father’s surprised face turns angry.

“Move, Ram.” His father says, and Ram feels the need to obey, to listen like a second skin, but he’s not a child anymore. He’s all grown up. He knows how to fight. He knows.

Ram shakes his head. “No.”

“This is between me and your mother.”

Ram stays still, the second shake of his head fierce and uncompromising. “Leave. Now.”

“This is my home. My family. Ram-” His voice is so reasonable. So heartbreaking, that Ram almost- almost gives in. But he doesn’t.

“Leave, or I’ll make you.” His hand is on his father’s arm, he didn’t even realize he grabbed him. His father looks to him, then to his mother, and hesitates, but Ram’s grip is uncompromising. His eyes are fury, his bones of rage, and his heart is aching.

“Fine. Just for tonight. Just for tonight.” He sounds more like he’s trying to convince himself, and Ram wants to correct him. To tell him he’s not welcome here anymore, but that’s not his call, and he’s afraid if he says anything more, he might just end up killing him.

His father goes to his room, Ram accompanying him as he packs a bag. Arms crossed as he follows his dad to the front door where Pin waits. She looks to his father, somewhat relieved, and Ram’s angry all over again.

His father looks to him regretfully, “We’ll work this out.”

But those are false words. They’ll never work this out.

He shuts the door with such a force that it even surprises him.

When he gets back to the living room, his mother is curled up with Ruj in her lap, stroking his hair softly, tears falling from both their eyes. They comfort and hold onto each other, and the sight breaks Ram’s heart even more. He walks over and curls up with them, long arms and large strength stretching to both of them. He almost regrets it now. Sending that anonymous note to her, to his mom, but not quite.

Only almost.

“He’s gone now. He can’t hurt us anymore.”

_He can’t hurt you._

_I’m sorry._

_I’m sorry I couldn’t protect you, Ruj._

_Both of you._

It's not until this moment that he starts to understand, fully, exactly what he's done. 


End file.
